08 July 2012

i survived!

Caila’s nanny had to go to the Philippines for a couple of weeks, so Hubby and I decided that I take a local leave from work during this time to take care of our daughter. Her nursery school days had just ended a few days earlier and she was used to being preoccupied with activities with her classmates. That meant I had to come up with things for her to do because I wanted to lessen her time in front of the television. With only me and the little one alone at home for at least 12 hours everyday, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But…I did it! I made it through 2 weeks of being a stay-at-home mother! Whew! I know it’s one of the things I want in the future (to not have to work anymore and just be a fulltime mother and housewife), but I realized that it’s not for me…yet.

The first week was tough as expected. Caila is a really picky eater, so I was pressured to find ways to make sure that she ate well. There were days when she would easily finish everything on her plate, some days when she had her quirks and would ask me to feed her using my hands…with matching car/plane/train/bus sounds, and there were two instances when I practically tied her to the chair and held her face to force her to eat. Then there was the struggle of giving her a shower; she loves playing with water so I almost always ended up scolding her when she splashed water around. And when it was time to put on her clothes, I always had to chase her around. It really tested my patience, and being almost 7 months pregnant didn’t help. I was really stressed out that first week, more stressed that I’ve ever been at work this past year. By the time Hubby would arrive at home from work, I would immediately lie down on the bed to relax for half an hour.

But by the second week, things changed. I’m not sure if it’s because I prayed about it, or if Caila realized that she couldn’t have her own way all the time, or if I just allowed myself to not stress myself out…but it became easier. I noticed that when she wanted something, she would always say “please, Mommy” really sweetly, she would say “po” and “opo” more frequently, showers and meal-times weren’t that much of a struggle compared to before, and when I said that she had to turn off the TV after a specific program to do something else, she would obey.

Even though those 2 weeks weren’t exactly the best, I’m glad that there was never a time when my daughter asked for her nanny or said anything that implied that she preferred Ate Cel over me. Friday night when I told her that I would be returning to work the following day, she was ok with it. But on Saturday morning, she cried so much because she didn’t want me to go. Fortunately she agreed after I told her that I need to work so that I could ask my boss for chocolates and money to buy the things she wants. This morning though, she said that she’ll go with me and she’ll be the one to ask my boss so that I can go home right away (so cute!).

Those weeks of being a SAHM made me appreciate Mama all the more because she dedicated her entire (married) life to raising me and my three siblings by being a full-time housewife and stay-at-home mother…plus, she had to drop out of school when she was a teenager to help raise her younger siblings (there were 9 of them, I think) when her own mother died while giving birth. If I was stressed for such a short period, what more her (and all the other SAHMs out there who don't have helpers), right? Now that’s what you call a SUPERWOMAN!  Thank you, Mama!

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