tumpak

About half an hour ago, I was pissed off. I literally wanted to pull my hair, shout, scream and swear all the bad words I know over and over again. For those of you who know me, I very rarely swear. Those words only come out of my mouth when I'm going to explode and I’m really, really angry at something or someone. So, yes, it came to that point. But since I’m at the office, I had to stop myself and control my emotions. Our entire department works in a big room so everyone can see and hear what you do. No good would come out of me making a scene, right? Another option would have been to go to the washroom and lock myself in there for a while, but if I did, my female colleagues would immediately know that something was wrong, and would pester me to tell them what happened.

So, I thought of blogging my thoughts and emotions so that I could at least have some sort of release. Actually, there’s really nothing more I want to say except P*T#NG $N@ and P#NY*T@ and L*CH# and $H*T and P*T@H#! Whew, that felt good…well, at least it helped a bit =)

Of course, I can’t dwell in all this negativity and unfairness of everything. It’s not healthy. Which led me to searching the net for bible verses. Without thinking, I clicked the first site the Google results showed and it led me to these verses:

And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.
(John 14:13-14)
 
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.
(James 4:3)
 
And that’s when I realized that it were these exact words I needed to comfort and assure me, and to open my eyes. In the end, I felt satisfied and content. Not 100% though because I still think the situation sucks, but I’m holding on to His promise that He’ll always give me what I want, when I need.  All I'll have to do is ask.

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