marriage and togetherness

There’s a couple we know who have been married for at least 25 years. Whenever we see them, we notice that they’re usually very sweet to each other: holding hands, making akbay, the husband tucks his wife’s hair behind her ears, etc. They embodied a picture of a very happy, and very much (still) in love couple considering the number of years they’ve been together. However, just recently we discovered that their marriage wasn’t all honey and roses as it seemed. At home, they weren’t truly happy. Since they both have jobs and they admitted they’re both workaholics, they rarely have time to sit down together and talk, even for dinner. Even though they lived together, it’s like they were living separate lives because of the busy schedules they had. For several years, this set-up worked for them. But then they realized later that it wasn’t healthy for their marriage.

Some time ago they went on a tour to all these cities and countries, just the two of them without their kids (who were all grown up, anyway). We told them “So sa trip nyo na yun, nagkaroon kayo ng chance na mag-enjoy na kayong dalawa lang at wala kayong ibang inisip?” You know what the wife said? She told us that yes, it was a good opportunity for them to bond, but probably because they had been so used to doing things separately for a long time, they forgot how to do and enjoy things TOGETHER. Ang sad di ba?

If you’re wondering about the sweet acts we saw them do, I don’t think they were fake. They still hold hands and stuff; but it’s like they do these to make up for things they aren’t able to do for (or with) each other. There aren’t any signs that showed us they’re heading for a separation, so I’m sure they’ll be able to work this out.

There’s definitely a lesson here for all of us married couples, especially when both are working. No matter how busy we may be with our jobs, other activities or interests, or even our own children, we SHOULD find time for our spouses. Weekly dates, praying together often, or just sitting down and talking with each other during mealtimes are things we can do. They may be simple, but they definitely help to keep the love alive and the marriage strong for the couple to grow TOGETHER.

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