My dear Caila,
Today marks your second year of existence in the world, and the only sad thing about it is it confirms what Daddy and I notice every day when we look at you...that you are a baby no more.
But, of course, this sadness is nothing compared to the fact that every time I look at you, I am amazed at how much you’ve grown, how you slowly change and develop your own individuality...making me proud you’re my daughter.
You bring so much joy to me and Daddy through the little tricks you learn and show us. A quick kiss, an embrace, and even your habit of pinching our elbows makes us happy. Knowing that you are at home waiting is enough for us to rush home from work, and just seeing your sweet smile when we open the door is all we need to erase our tiredness away and recharge our energy so that we could play with you with your toys, cook and taste your imaginary hotdogs and “sabaw” in your little kitchen, or simply sit and cuddle beside you as you watch your favorite programs on Playhouse Disney.
In so many ways, you are a very loving daughter. Out of the blue, you want Daddy or me to pick you up and carry you in our arms, or just hold your hand as you ride in your stroller when we’re out. You also enjoy sitting on Daddy’s lap at the dining table, feeding him the food on his plate. And in the evening, you always insist that we go to sleep together. It’s ok for you if Daddy can’t join us because he’s busy; what’s important is I’m there lying beside you to read you a story, or sing your favorite songs.
I remember the day you first heard the song “Happiness.” You liked it right away and wanted it played over and over. Now, at bedtime when I sing this, you are able to sing along at the end of some of the verses. You are my happiness, Caila, and I will always keep in my heart that this is our song.
I may act annoyed when you ask me to sing the song from Barney again and again: “I love you. You love me. We’re a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won’t you say you love me too.” But in reality, I enjoy singing it for you, especially when I know that you’ll automatically give me a big hug and kiss when I sing those parts of the song. I’m sure you notice that I hug you really tight as if I don’t want to let you go...because I don’t; I don’t want to let you go and grow too fast.
When you were just a few months old, you often made “dapa” on my chest and you would go to sleep within minutes. You were so small then and I didn’t want to move for fear of waking you up and disturbing your peaceful slumber. Now, you’re much bigger and heavier, but I still can’t resist it every time you ask me sweetly “Mommy, ‘apa...please.” I admit it’s uncomfortable for me, but comfort takes the back seat as I cherish these moments when I can hold you so close to me, your little body following the rise and fall of my chest.
Yes, you’re no longer a baby, but a toddler, a small child...who, before I know it, will become a teenager, a lady, a woman. But, as your favorite book goes, “as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” Never forget that, ok?
We love you, Anak. And always remember, Caila, that no matter what happens, I will always love you.
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