ta-ta yaya cha-cha

Last Saturday, after just 6 weeks with us, we let Yaya go (by mutual agreement). It was a tough decision to make coz there were many factors that we had to consider like who would take care of Caila while we’re at work, the large amount of money we had to pay for her 2-year visa, and so many other things. But if letting go of her would put a stop to the constant harassment we were getting from her local sponsor, then that’s what we had to do.

We had been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions for 2 weeks, and it became worse this past weekend, so finally, we decided to cut our ties with her. Anyway, she’s strong and we know that she has friends who can help her out more than we can help her. As long as our family is safe and we have our peace of mind back, that’s what’s important.

Unfortunately, because of this, hubby and I had to make a decision...and like all parents, it’s definitely going to be very difficult for us to do.

powdery sweetness

Had to slip out of the office for a couple of hours to take care of some things with hubby this morning.

Since we were in the area, I asked hubby if I could pass by the apartment just to visit Yaya and Caila for a few minutes before returning to the office (it’s not everyday that I have some free time in my hands during office hours). He agreed, so he parked the car and waited while I went up.

Even though she was just half-dressed and covered in baby powder (Yaya had just given her a bath), as soon as I knelt down to kiss and hug her, Caila put her arms around my neck and embraced me real tight. So sweet!!!

libre lang ang mangarap

I received the below article in my e-mail a few days ago. After reading it, I immediately sent it to all my friends, including the 3 yahoogroups I'm a member of. Anyway, I'm posting it in my blog to serve as a reminder and eye-opener to myself and everyone out there.

Thanks to Kiomi for sharing!

Narinig mo na ba ito: "Libre lang ang mangarap."

Pag mukhang walang direksyon ang buhay mo, sasabihin nila,"wala ka man lang kaambi-ambisyon!" Pag andami-dami mong gustong gawin, sasabihin naman nila, "ambisyoso ka!" Ayos ba?

May mga nagtatagumpay sa buhay, may sumisikat at nalalaos, may gumaganda ang buhay pansamantala ngunit pagkatapos ay bumabalik sa dati at kung minsan ay mas masahol pa. Tignan mo yung kapitbahay mong nag Saudi o kaya'y pumunta sa Dubai at Italy o kaya si ate sa Hongkong. Wag na tayo lumayo... Musta kaya ang buhay sa call center sa bandang Libis o Ortigas? O kaya yung teller ng banko sa Makati . Ano ba ang kasalukuyang sinasalamin ng buhay nila. Kaginhawaan? Kasaganahan? O kahirapan pa din.

Marahil marami ang nangarap sa buhay. Kahit siguro yung kaibigan mong ewan, marahil ay may pangarap din ngunit libre nga ba ito? At kung libre, bakit madami pa din ang hindi nakakaabot sa kanilang mga pangarap.

Kasya ba ang take home pay mo? Musta ang credit card mo? Max up na yung pangatlo?! Palagay ko hindi libre ang mangarap. Tulad na lang ng kalayaan, subukan mong isalin sa ingles ang salitang ito – freedom. Libre nga ba ito? Kung libre ito, bakit may Ninoy, bakit may Evelio Javier, at madami pang nagbubuwis ng buhay? Tsk tsk.

Nakakatuwa ang paggamit ng ating mga salita. May kakilala akong nag-Saudi. Nakapag pundar ng bahay, umabot sa mahigit isang milyon ang nahawakang pera. Tuloy tuloy na sana pero nalulong sa droga, nawala lahat ang kabuhayan. Nangarap ba siya? Marahil. Pero somewhere along the way, nawala ang focus niya.

Tapos si Manong Ed, istokwa, bata pa tumira na sa palengke. Sabi sa kanila, "black sheep" ng pamilya. Di na inintindi ng magulang. Ang batang palaboy-laboy sa palengke ng Surigao, kamuntik naging sundalo, kamuntik din nakatapos ng engineering at nag-mekaniko. Nasaan na siya ngayon? Nag-abroad na, tangay ang limang kaibigan at kapamilya. Saan kaya niya hinugot ang kanyang lakas upang makaalis sa palengkeng naging kanlungan niya habang siya ay nag-iisa?

Listen, yung nanay ng friend ko at age 44, nag-nursing. Saan na siya ngayon? Nagto-tour na. She has all the money to do just that. Ano! matanda ka na?

Eto isa pa. Yung lola ng friend ko, nag retire at age 65. Bumalik sa skul, kumuha ng Law. Sabi ng mga apo at anak, "Matanda na kayo. Pahinga na lang kayo sa bahay." Sagot niya, "Ubingak pay! (bata pa ako)." Nakinig ba siya? Hindi! Ayun pumasa sa bar, lawyer na ang lola! Whew!

Ano, hihirit ka pa? Minsan sa isang seminar, lumapit sa akin ang isang clerk, may konting luha at lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. Sabi niya, "Labing pitong taon na akong clerk, wala pang nangyari sa buhay ko!" Ako ay namangha at nabagabag. Anlalim nun ah! I got scared. Sabi ko, "Anong ginawa mo? Madami namang seminar na pwedeng puntahan, libro na puedeng basahin o kaya panibagong skills na pwedeng pag-aralan." Ang kanyang tugon ay nakakalungkot. Sabi niya, "Busy ako sa work eh!" She was practically imprisoned sa lamesa niya for 17 years!

Kaya ang mas malalim na tanong, "Are we busy with the right things? Does it make us grow? Does it make us a better person? May mas magandang pupuntahan ba ang ginagawa natin sa susunod na mga taon?" Ang karayom, pag tinusok sa 'yo ay masakit. Mararamdaman mo ito. Kaya ang karayom itinali ko sa isang steel rod at itinusok sa dibdib niya, at sinabing, "Tignan mo yang isang officemate mo. Dati clerk din siya, ngayon Systems Administrator na. Pareho kayo ng simula diba?"

The desire to dream starts from the heart, it is a daily decision to be where you want to be. It is owning it. `Tol, wag ka umasa sa mana mo o kaya sa gobyerno o sa Boss mo. At the end of the day, commodity ka lang. Ang buhay kasi is buy and sell kaya dapat alamin mo ang tunay mong halaga baka na syo-shortchange ka! Bilhin ka ng boss mo sa halagang Php10,000 tapos ibebenta ka sa halagang Php100,000. Yan ang harap harapang prostitusyon!

Ask yourself. Masaya ka ba where you are? Ok ka na ba diyan? kumusta lineage ng pamilya mo? Is that what you want to see in your generation? Sabi ng isang guard sa akin noon. Junie, security guard na lolo ko. Security guard din tatay ko, kaya security guard na din ako. Sabi ko, "Ayaw mong maging chief of police?" But really, kung yung nagdaang henerasyon sa pamilya mo e puno ng kakulangan, would you even dream and act to change it? O you resign to it and say, "Eto ang kapalaran ko."

Simulan mo. Minsan masarap maging discontent. Wag mong isiping bata ka pa o matanda ka na o may kakulangan ka. Ala akong pinag-aralan eh. Mahirap lang kami. Wala kaming pera. O nagpapadala ka sa mga taong nagsasabing, "Sama-sama na lang tayo dito!" This one really scares me! O nagsasabing, "Ambisyoso ka!"

`Tol, at the end of the day, di naman sila ang magpapakain ng pamilya mo eh. Try mong utangan sila. It's not about lacking in resources, it is about resourcefulness.

I started losing friends when I realize may mga taong excess baggage sa buhay natin. Minsan may nakilala ako, sobrang nega. Sala sa init sala sa lamig. Laging may problemang dala. Minsang kasama ko sabi niya, "Bat di mo ako kinakausap?" Sagot ko naman, "There is nothing good to say!" Lagi akong nagtatanong, "Is this person going to make a good influence sa buhay ko?" Syempre, yan din ang lagi kong tanong sa sarili ko. Choose your friends.

An eagle can not fly if he is dressed like a turkey. And you can't go to the same school as the duck's school. Tignan mo if they have grown in the past few years kasi may tinatawag na Law of Association. Are they excited about life or they see it as drudgery? Are you in survival mode or is your life accelerating? Pareho ba maxed up credit card niyo? Do you hear more complaints than movements? Ang bakasyon ba mas pinagpla-planuhan kaysa sa buhay? Is happy hour better than growing together?

There must be what they call the next level kasi ang buhay hindi dress rehearsal. Kaya if you see yourself in the bar every weekend with your friends, you better run away from them!

Start within you. Change the way you see things. Look at your life as a new canvass. Choose the colors! Wag mo nang balikan yung nakaraan. Di mo na mababago yun. Yung ngayon at bukas, may magagawa ka pa. Dapat may internal change muna. You have to start with your character. Be a better person everyday. Lahat ng gagawin mo should have an impact hindi lang sa buhay mo kundi sa mga taong nasa paligid mo. Everyday decision yan. Pag-align na yung character mo, pag tama yang puso mo, everything will come into focus. Mas magaan ang buhay mo. Then yung sinasabi nilang, the whole universe will collide to give you what you deserve will definitely happen. Remember, the universe respond to deserved, not need, not want.

Finally, stretch yourself and your life like a rubber band. You will never know what your potentials are until you stretch yourself hard enough it's gonna break you. Don't let anyone live your life and drive you where they please. Like a boss with a stick and a carrot dangling at the other end. The only person who can tell you na hanggang diyan ka lang is yourself so the competition is not between you and the other person. It's the devil inside you that doesn't want you to grow.

Make a decision to change wherever you are. Don't wait for someday. Someday, someday, someday. Remove that from your vocabulary and say NOW IS THE TIME TO CHANGE!

Sama sama tayong mangarap. Mahal ang mangarap pero halika, I'll walk with you. Ano, kelan tayo magsisimula?

You already know everything you need to know about success. All you have to do is to put the remote control down, scoop that bag of chips away, get out from the couch and do something!

i have arrived!

This is it! I have decided to start blogging on cyberspace. Not that it's my first time (I posted some blogs before on my Friendster account), but having my own blogsite will (hopefully) inspire me to keep an online diary of whatever is going on in my life.

Besides, it's much easier this way than keeping a diary or scrapbook. No messy erasures or fussing with scissors and glue, and it definitely won't collect dust at the back of the shelf or in a box underneath the bed.

So, anyway, here goes...Blogworld, I have arrived!