On Not Announcing Your Pregnancy During the First Trimester

Disclaimer: No, I am not pregnant...yet.
These were my tests when I was pregnant with Sophie

Several people I know are either pregnant or have recently given birth. Of course I’m happy for them. No doubt these babies will bring them a certain chaotic life that, no matter how crazy it would be, they wouldn’t trade for the world.

But my thoughts which are the reason for this post came about because of this particular lady I know. Here’s her story…

My friend and her husband already have a daughter, and they've wanted to have another child ever since they managed to bring her here when she was still around 4 or 5 years old. The girl is turning 12 years old, so you can pretty much imagine how long they’ve been trying.

Actually, a couple of years ago, my friend became pregnant…but she didn’t know it because her period was irregular and only thought to see her Ob-Gyn when she began feeling that something wasn’t right with her body. Turns out she was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy and had to be operated on right away. You can imagine what a rollercoaster of emotions she went through in just a few hours.

But she overcame it. Life went on and again they tried....and tried some more.

A few weeks ago, she told us the good news that they were expecting; the baby was in its proper place, and a heartbeat had been heard. They had actually just found out the day before, and the baby was approximately 5 weeks old.

What joy! After all the waiting and trying and what happened two years ago, finally they would get the baby they wanted. I was already secretly planning her baby shower in my mind. (Oo na, ako na ang OA sa excitement. Hahaha!)

But soon after, our joy was turned to worry and sadness when she told us that she kept spotting, and after an appointment with her OB-Gyn, the baby couldn’t be seen and there was no heartbeat. Fast forward a couple of days later, she started experiencing cramps, and within minutes, it came out.

So painful! And it was absolutely heartbreaking to see her go through another rollercoaster of emotions.

Which leads me to my thoughts…

I’m sure you’ve heard of the “belief” (if that’s the correct term) of waiting until the first trimester is over before the mother-to-be announces her pregnancy. My question is…WHY?

Why do you have to wait before the “risky” period is over to let other people know? At least if they know, they give the expectant mother more priority, consideration, and/or special attention and benefits.

Is it considered bad luck to announce it before the first trimester is over? If it is, why is it considered “bad luck?” Isn’t this a gift from above, something heaven-sent? So surely it should be good, right?

For couples who have been trying for so long, I’m sure they’re excited and want to tell the whole world of this blessing, thank them for their prayers, etc…but because of this “belief,” they keep the news to themselves. Shouldn’t they at least tell their close relatives and friends?

What if there are complications? And, like what happened to my friend, they lose the baby? Does this mean the couple have to suffer alone because they are the only ones who know?

Wouldn’t it help them more if other people (at least their friends and family) knew so they can be comforted with prayers and words of encouragement, or simply by being their shoulders to cry on?

My friend was actually planning to keep the news to herself for a while and surprise her husband at a later date (on his birthday).  It was a good thing her doctor advised her it was better for him to know that same day they saw the baby and heard its heartbeat.

I don’t know. I may be wrong, or maybe there’s a valid reason why couples opt to not say anything until everything is "safe" and "clear" and 100% confirmed. But this is just me.

Care to share your thoughts?